Time in the sun

1 A slow, slow drive before and following the roundabout which leads to (i) the narrowing of the dual carriageway to one lane and (ii) to Stonehenge. We moved slowly. I sense that nothing has been done to widen the road nor will anything be done because any improvement would be part of a wider scheme of road-building round the monument. And there has been no agreement over the years (or, if there has been agreement there has been no endorsement by the government).

2 After a journey of over three hours we arrived at 1345 on the eve of her birthday. There will be flowers in her room, and the two cakes will be shared. She was wheeled into the garden where she sat between the two of us. We were given a pot of tea and some biscuits. Lilian tried one of the biscuits, and she also took a cup of tea to her mouth. She did leave most of the tea in the cup; on reflection, it was only to be expected that she did as she has been a coffee-drinker all her life.

3 Compared with my visit a month ago she was much more responsive. She raised her head and directed her gaze towards me when I called out . However, she didn't respond to any other names. When I put my hand in hers, she gripped my hand. She gripped with one hand and brought the other to lie on top of her hand and mine. She managed her cup of tea. So there is still life in her brain.

3.1 She didn't speak. She continued to chew continuously.

4 Her hair is still full and soft. Her skin is soft. Her hands were sufficiently warm, that is, they were not cold. However, C who had not seen her for three months was struck by the extent to which she has shrunk.

5 However, my sense remains of someone who is well cared-for.

6 The visit was a good one, The sun shone, and it warmed us all. We sat in the garden, talking, taking photographs, and drinking tea. It was good to see her, good to be in her company.

7 The next step is to transfer the photographs from the camera to this laptop.

Don

The lights were out

1 I visited yesterday, 15 July. I arrived about 1315, was invited to sit on a comfortable chair just inside the door, and was given a cup of tea. After a while, we meet in the snooze-room, a ground-floor room which contains an armchair, a fish-bowl, and a soft-armchair, low on the ground. I took a hard-back chair from the dining room and sat close to the lady as she sat, asleep for much of the time, in the armchair.

2 She looked comfortable. She was dressed. Her hair remains fresh-looking. Her skin remains soft to the touch. She did sleep for much of the time that I was with her. In any case, her head was down, her chin resting on her chest.

3 Alas, she was generally unresponsive. Twice she lifted her head when I called 'Lilian'. On both occasions, she looked directly at me, but there was no sign of recognition, either in her eyes or by the touch of her hand. When I held her hand, she did not respond. The palm didn't open, there was no grip in response to mine. Yet I heard that she had been in the garden during the Open Day last Saturday. I heard too that she was feeding herself.

4 My sense was of a gentle lady who, compared with previous visits, had withdrawn further from the world. She was comfortable. She was clean. She was well-dressed. But the lights were out.

5 Perhaps she is more responsive at other times. I wonder if she is more responsive, say, in the morning, before lunch. Perhaps she does recognise some members of the staff. Perhaps.

In bed

1 When I arrived about 1530 on 12 April, the lovely lady (TLL) was being put to bed. Whilst I waited, I was able to use the Snoozeroom - I have forgotten the actual term, a room which has been given over to relaxation. The user sits in a comfortable chair and watches a display of tranquil scenes on the wall. I also heard that the lady was still doing well, that she was still a pleasure to deal with.

2 The manager took me to the lady's room. She was in bed, looking quiet and comfortable. She looked at me, and she continued to look at me for the duration of my visit. However, there was no sign of recognition. I chatted to her in the customary way, that is, I held a one-sided conversation. I used the familiar names, including June, Terry, Graham, Ashmore, the shop, and so on. She listened, but she did not reply in any way.

3 I heard that she was doing well, that she was much as she had been on the previous visit (when, remember, she was 92 going on 91). She rose early. She joined the others in the day-room, and she had her lunch with the others. Then, sometime after lunch, she was sufficiently tired to warrant a return to her room and to bed.

4 Whilst I was there, I was able to feed her some soup. I also held a cup whilst she drank from it. I had a cup of tea for myself, and I also was given some sandwiches.

5 Once again, she was easy to visit. I was with her for about an hour and a half, during which time I alternated between talking to her and having a look at my newspaper. All the while, she remained alive to me.

6 I hope that she was aware of me, that she had some sense that I was visiting her, that I wanted to be in touch with her. I said Goodbye. I had no doubt that she was in good hands, in the hands of people who cherished her. I hope she realises that she is cherished.

92 going on 91

1 On 3 February 2008, we made the first visit of the year. (Times passes.) As we entered, we heard that the white-haired lady (WHL) was much improved. She was feeding herself again. She was spending time at the meal-table with others; (perhaps; I may be mis-recalling).

2 We joined the WHL in her room, upstairs, beyond the lift. She looked good. Her hair was fresh, as it had been on the previous visit. So too was her skin. Her lower lip and jaw still moved constantly. It could have been that she was much as she had been six weeks ago.

3 It was soon evident though that she had improved. Whilst she didn't speak, she seemed to be more conscious that she was being spoken to. Her eyes moved from one to the other. At one point - just one - she replied, easily and straightaway to a question or observation. Her 'very nearly' (or some such words) fitted the question or observation exactly. There were no other responses of this kind, but there had been this one.

3.1 When her tea came, she was able to hold the mug and drink from it. She hadn't done that on the previous visit; she hadn't done it, to the best of my recollection, for months, perhaps for the past year.

4 All in all, the visiting was easy. The sun shone. She sat quietly in her chair, her lower jaw moving all the while. We took it in turns to talk to her. One would talk and otherwise attend to her for 15 to 20 minutes; then, there would be a change of attendant. In that way, the lady had the undivided attention of each of the two visitors; meanwhile, each of the visitors had the opportunity to sit quietly for a while, look and listen, or just read a paper for a while.

5 As ever, the staff were good to meet and talk to. The young care-assistant who took us to the room is taking a course in nursing (and works in the home, where she had worked before, to make some money). The always-smiling care worker from the Phillipines talked about her family and about the WHL, for whom she had a fond regard. (The WHL remains the favourite of all, so it appears.)

6 Summing up the visit is easy: the WHL is 92 going on 91.